Estate Planner/Family Counselor

When John first called, it seemed like a routine inquiry. However, that impression faded fast as he continued to talk, informing me that he had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and that he wanted his wife, Donna, to take no part in his estate plan before or after his death. He insisted that we represent him alone, to the exclusion of his wife.

At our initial appointment, John again reaffirmed that he did not want Donna to have any control over the family finances after his death; he further indicated that he was prepared to file for divorce if necessary to assure that she would have no control of his estate. Furthermore, he was insistent that their teenage child receive large monthly allotments with no restrictions. In short, I had a client that was extremely, and justifiably, distraught, and he was acting irrationally and not in his family's best interests.

We talked at length about his goals for his family, and his feelings toward Diane. I began to realize that John loved his wife very much and did not want to get divorced. That being the case, I convinced him to let us try to help him and his wife, together, design an estate plan that would accomplish both of their objectives and save their marriage at the same time. In essence, I needed to design a plan that would enable them to keep their family intact and, at the same time, give him control over his estate even beyond his lifetime.

I met with both John and Donna on a number of occasions to discuss the various estate planning options available to them as a couple. We also spent a good deal of time talking about their marriage, helping each one to understand the other. Donna understood that Tom simply needed to feel in control of his destiny, a control of which he had been robbed as the result of his medical diagnosis.

Both John and Donna eventually agreed to let us draft trusts for each of them. However, despite our continued counsel to the contrary, John insisted on setting up a trust for their teenage child that gave her a substantial monthly allowance, and over which his wife would have no control. We kept up a dialog with both John and Donna over the next several months, and continued to advise John of the risks involved in making such substantial gifts to a person of such a tender age.

Only days before John's impending death, he called me and asked me, in a clear and concise manner, to amend his estate plan. In coming to terms with his situation, he now wished to give his wife control over his entire estate and the right to determine the timing and amount of their child's inheritance. We discussed this revision in depth, as it was in stark contrast to his previously stated wishes. He emphatically confirmed his new instructions. We prepared new documents, and he signed the updated documents soon thereafter. John died peacefully a few days later, surrounded by his family.